Ruined for the Month of May

"What you don't understand, you can make mean anything."-Diary
Chuck Palahniuk

I'm halfway through this book, and just like his other book I read (Choke) its making me hate everyone and everything. Its like this horrible horrible trade off. Like selling your soul to the devil. or taking a hit of cocaine. you just know that it's not going to work out for you. you just know that it's not healthy to look at life the way he explains it. but my god, I don't think I adore anyone's writing style more than his. it's like a physical drug, the feeling you get from reading. it's so difficult to understand, so impossible to explain. but I cannot, in good conscious, recommend you Diary. it is possibly one of the best books I have ever read, but I will not tell you to read it. because, like all of his books, you have to be prepared. you have to be ready to feel like the world is an unfair place.

what he does is makes you unable to trust anyone. the narrators a liar, maybe. who knows? they're all liars anyways. everyone's a liar. even you are a liar. (when you begin to think of yourself as the narrator, the only fair person in the world, you suddenly realize your no better than anyone else). everyones full of bullshit. but that's not a bad thing.

I don't know. it's difficult to explain the feeling, but I am simultaneously loving and hating the way I feel right now.

like he says in this book, we'd rather feel those intense emotions rather than feel nothing. Misty wouldn't love him if she wasnt torturing him.

all I know is that i still haven't gotten to the plot twist (which, when I read choke made me feel like there was no point in the world) yet and I still feel like life is pointless.

the mere fact that I feel this intensely during reading a *book*, *a made up story*, shows how well he writes. if you decide to read it, just be prepared to be ruined for the month.

Aryion