Ruined for the Month of May

"What you don't understand, you can make mean anything."-Diary
Chuck Palahniuk

I'm halfway through this book, and just like his other book I read (Choke) its making me hate everyone and everything. Its like this horrible horrible trade off. Like selling your soul to the devil. or taking a hit of cocaine. you just know that it's not going to work out for you. you just know that it's not healthy to look at life the way he explains it. but my god, I don't think I adore anyone's writing style more than his. it's like a physical drug, the feeling you get from reading. it's so difficult to understand, so impossible to explain. but I cannot, in good conscious, recommend you Diary. it is possibly one of the best books I have ever read, but I will not tell you to read it. because, like all of his books, you have to be prepared. you have to be ready to feel like the world is an unfair place.

what he does is makes you unable to trust anyone. the narrators a liar, maybe. who knows? they're all liars anyways. everyone's a liar. even you are a liar. (when you begin to think of yourself as the narrator, the only fair person in the world, you suddenly realize your no better than anyone else). everyones full of bullshit. but that's not a bad thing.

I don't know. it's difficult to explain the feeling, but I am simultaneously loving and hating the way I feel right now.

like he says in this book, we'd rather feel those intense emotions rather than feel nothing. Misty wouldn't love him if she wasnt torturing him.

all I know is that i still haven't gotten to the plot twist (which, when I read choke made me feel like there was no point in the world) yet and I still feel like life is pointless.

the mere fact that I feel this intensely during reading a *book*, *a made up story*, shows how well he writes. if you decide to read it, just be prepared to be ruined for the month.

Aryion

wise words

"The most important thing is that we confront our fears. If we don't, they can throw us out of balance"- Tenzin (Avatar Aang's son, The Legend of Korra)


just some really nice wise words. he's my favorite character so far... haha. i think its because he reminds me of Katara. i want to write down so much from this show : D

-Abi

Little Universes

"At any given moment it seems theres a million separate universes going on." Mr. Barkin

I have been debating whether or not to put one of my poetry teacher's on here. He's a genius and I am always inspired by whatever he shows me. I have about a million quotes from him that hopefully I will be posting here.

Aryion

the question

"Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer."

-Rainer Maria Rilke, 1903

We kinda studied the 'existentialism'-ness of this quotation in class one day... but it stuck with me. recently, it appeared in a book i was reading called "The Sound of a Wild Snail Eating" (its a charming book, truly!) but i realize i've been doing this more and more, and i find it important to do... which is just to wait for the answer, listen to the universe. in time, everything has its purpose... the stars align, or they don't, and if they don't, well then, that's a sign, too. its a patience game, like when you strum a guitar, carefully pulling down each string. in the lull there is power too, and so much space and energy. i want to listen to that space as well as the actual note.

its like the journey is the destination, eh? there is no destination without the journey, because you can't just arrive at your own doorstep if you're already standing there. 

-Abi

The Best Way to Describe It.

"There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit at a typewriter and bleed."-Ernest Hemingway

there is no better way to say it, honestly.

aryion

invisible strings

"Funny, what invisible strings connect us all" -monk in Avatar: The Last Airbender


I always go back to this quotation in my mind... thinking more and more that coincidence is minor, and that fate is a web that connects us all. like a collective fate. nothing pre-ordained, just tugged on and updated, like when strings in a web get pulled and the spider knows.


had one of those moments the other day, thats why this popped into my head again!


aryion-- i will give it a shot!! (once i finish my book list : ) )




-Abi

To be in Love with Yourself

"In the end, though, maybe we must all give up trying to pay back the people in this world who sustain our lives. In the end, maybe it's wiser to surrender before the miraculous scope of human generosity and to just keep saying thank you, forever and sincerely, for as long as we have voices."-Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat Pray Love

Before any judgmental notions pop into your brain let me tell you; this book is amazing. The writing is witty and very personal, and it is like we go on that journey of self-fulfillment with her. I feel that oftentimes we get lost trying to live in this world and sometimes we just need to pause and brush off the old spirituality once in a while. The stigma of popularity follows this book, and I myself thought it was one of those 'housewife' reads, but it was wonderful, and I am glad it is in my life now. Thank you, Elizabeth Gilbert. Thank you and thank you and thank you.

Abi, I feel like you'd really like this book and I may or may not be giving it to you the next time we meet.

Aryion